I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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