omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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