is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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