listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
