it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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