i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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