ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
