So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
