does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
