When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
