I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We had to coat check the pizza.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
