haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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