dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Someone came in the potted fern
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
