The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
