They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
