My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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