Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
