I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
