Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
