I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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