just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
