i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
