It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
