Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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