its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize