he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
