just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
