So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
