did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
