i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Randomize
