so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
