Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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