NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my shit smells like andre
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
