My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
