i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
