you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
