Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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