she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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