My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
