Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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