i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize