I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize