Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
