Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
