it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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