I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
