Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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