The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
