you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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