In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
