I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize