I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
