at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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