The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
did you just send me my own nude
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
