Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
