i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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