How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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